The Blog Lives Again. . .

“So what Knight am I?”

“Excuse me?” I replied confused.  I was totally lost. . .

”What Knight am I?” the man’s voice on the phone repeated. 

My brain was processing what he was saying, but it was like I was translating the words in my head to fit contextually to what this wonderful, beautiful man was speaking of.

“I thought that we had a great time and I thought you liked me, and then I read your blog and wondered if you just went on a date to have material for your blog,” was the summary that followed. 

Ouch. Shit.

I felt like I had been kicked in the gut. This was my worst nightmare coming true. I finally meet someone, have an amazing time with them, really like them and my luck; they think I am just out with them to have material to write. 

I had mentioned that I had written a blog in passing at one point during a phone conversation when we were first talking. We were speaking for hours on the phone and I was trying to get to know him, and he me.  Like a smart guy sometimes does, he Google’d me and found everything from roller derby to the blog. 

I had wrapped up the blog dates nearly a year earlier, and hadn’t seen hide nor hare of a Knight in ages. Life had gotten busy; new job, traveling, band obligations, friends and family and I had just dropped the ball with finishing the blog.  I had spaced and then three months turned into six months, and then I just wondered if I was ever going to have time or have the spirit move me to finish the blog.  I had only written when I felt really compelled to write, and well, I wasn’t feeling creative these days to sum up the last two failed dates.  He and I were having such a great time, I wasn’t event thinking about my past dates.

The thing that was so funny to talk about, everyone seemed so happy to read, and offered me an outlet for the very odd and mysterious time of my life when I was “dating” was now rearing it’s head, and it wasn’t pretty. 

“Well Chris, you finally met a nice guy, of course, a nice guy isn’t going to want to think he’s part of an online blog,” was the counsel I was offered by the best friend.  I was horrified.  I really liked this guy. . and I by no means wanted him to think that I was writing about him!

I wrestled with what to do. Do I just take the blog down? I was two entries away (both were dates I had gone on ages ago) from completion. If I took it down before it was complete, I felt like I hadn’t completed by goal. I HAD gone on thirty dates.  Why not just create the write-ups and then put the sucker to bed.

After A LOT of dialogue with this new man about how the blog had not been written for a year. . .after apologizing profusely for having this wonderful man feel led astray, I knew I had to finish the blog. I had not been on a blog date for nearly a year.  In fact, after completing thirty first dates I took a break from dating.  For nearly a year. . . .I will explain further in my wrap up, but I was a bit threadbare from dating and the doozy that the Knight’s legacy left me with. 

I also explained to him that I too, really liked him, and wasn’t going to write a blog entry about our date/s.

This kind-hearted man accepted my explanation with no challenge.  He was willing to believe he wasn’t just  “statistic” and was going to give me another shot and I haven’t breathed a sigh of relief like that in a while. Finally, I had met someone that was willing to trust and believe me.  He became even more attractive to me than he already was.

So I pulled my act together and over two trips, I decided it’s time to put this sucker to bed. I wasn’t losing a perfectly great relationship over my brain dead musings.