Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Knight

As I have been doing this blog I found that the dates are getting more and more interesting. I don't know why that is, but the more mild mannered ones were definitely in the beginning of this endeavor. I have been writing of them out of sequence for both anonymity for the Knights and also so all the doozies aren't grouped together!  At this point of the blog I have been on 11 of them I am finding out a few things. Many of these things came to light after going on a date with this Knight.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Knight came to me through the dating site.  He had reached out to me and it took me nearly a week to get back to him. He seemed kind looking in his pictures. Bright blue eyes, tallish, sparkling smile, he looked fit and had friends in his pictures; always a good sign.  His profile said he was in finance, spontaneous, laid back, and a bit sarcastic.

I have to look and see if those qualities are on the sample profile page because I see those specific traits appear over and over on the this dating site where these guys describe themselves. Back to our Knight. . .

This man had messaged me to tell me he came across my profile and we seemed to have a lot in common. 

Always a plus.

He asked if I would like to meet up with him sometime. He was living in my home town. I was worried he was someone I knew, who knew about the blog, and was just messing with me. As to not prolong the tomfoolery, I decided I would send along my phone number and ask him to text me. This way, we could speed up the meet up, and if I was getting the wool pulled over my eyes by some funny friend, I'd find out who it was sooner rather than later.  

Sidebar:  The back and forth after the initial hello is always the largest investment of time I am finding.  This period of qualifying can take up to a few weeks and well, I don't want be doing this into 2020.  

He began our texting adventure with me one evening by asking if I want to grab a drink. I happened to be home that night after work and figured sure; I can muster some energy to see who this mystery man is. After a chain of texts as to where to meet, he decided to back out because he had to get up early for work. I said, "No worries" and was happy to stay in my sweats and no make up. The following night brings the same text.  "Do you want to go for a drink," he texts. I text that it's late this time and I am watching American Horror Story and he sends back a text asking if I want company.  Hmmm.

I send him back, "I'm sorry.  I don't invite strange men to my home." 

He replies, "I respect that, but I am always a gentleman." 

I come back with, "I am sure you are, but that remains to be seen." 

I find it odd that a man would want to come by so late at night and I am kind of put off because it feels creepy.   I decide in order to further see if this guy is someone looking to meet someone to date, or if he is just DTF I will ask some qualifying questions. I definitely don't want to waste my time with some guy who is just looking to hook up with randoms; me included.   

"Are you looking for a dating situation or are you just looking to meet people?" I text.  I figure that is a nice way of saying what is going through my mind. He says he is looking to build a friendship, and see where it goes. OK, cool; but you're still not coming to my home in the middle of the night.  We agree via text to meet the following day for lunch before I have to go to work. You wanna be creepy with me, you get daylight.

He prefaces confirming the date with that he has  a one year old's birthday to get to at 2:30pm that afternoon. I do a pre-emptive "I have to work at 3" whether or not I do. I'm finding that not only in business, but in life in general, you should ALWAYS have an exit strategy. We agree we should have a hard stop at 2pm to make it where we have to go.

We agree to meet at Urban Table, since I hear that they have brunch and I am always down for a good brunch I don't have to cook. 

We are due to meet at 12:30pm but we are both running late. By quarter to one I am parking and I arrive to find him waiting in the doorway. He's definitely a real man and not my friend pranking me. Oh well. He is just about my height in heels which makes him shorter in person than his online height.

I am getting good at figuring this out as time goes by and also finding that people LIE LIKE DOGS about their height. 

He is dressed in a wool over coat, a button-up collared shirt and black leather shoes.  His hair is shaved tightly to his head and I can't figure out if his pretty blue eyes are sparkly or are what we like to call crazy eyes.  The sort that have that "I have heads in my fridge" look to them.  I wonder if they are going to start rolling all over the place like on of my last dates.  I guess we will find out soon enough!

He looks wildly uncomfortable standing there waiting for me.  As I walk towards him he realizes that I am the PoF prize for waiting in the breezeway of the restaurant. He walks towards me,  hugs me and kisses me on the cheek hello and ushers me out the doorway onto the sidewalk. 

Odd. . I thought we were eating inside. It's cold. We are now standing outside and I am confused.  Was there a problem with the restaurant? Did he have a family emergency and is canceling?  Why am I not moving towards having brunch?

He explains to me that there is going to be a 15 minute wait and we should go somewhere else.  OK. He's being decisive. Great. 

"So where are we going?" I ask. 

He replies, "What do you think?" 

Ah, shit. 

Now I'm stuck planning this endeavor and my brain is still stuck on brunch. OK Manzella, switch gears. You're not getting brunch. Suck it up and pick a place because your ass is freezing. 

It now begins to snow. Yes. Snow. That mythic weather element that we have not hardly seen in 2012 in my parts of New Jersey.  And today, because I have to walk to who-knows-where for Plan B lunch, it will choose to precipitate. Awesome.

I quickly choose the safe zone. "The Hopper?" I reply.

 "Eh," he sighs.

He's so soft spoken I can hardly hear him. He's looking stressed now that we are not coming up with a place. I'm scrambling. I think to myself, "If I work tonight and only have time for one reasonable meal today where I can sit and eat it while it is hot, what the hell do I want." 

Eureka. 

A burger. (Sorry my vego friends. Sadly, given no decision making time, limited resources and what might be the only comfort to my lunch, I chose burger.) 

I suggest that we walk to the Dublin Pub for a good burger. He agrees it's a good choice and we begin our walk. On our way we spoke about the traffic and parking, if we go out in Morristown often, and what we are up to later in the day .  

When we sit down he orders an iced tea and I have a club soda while we are reading the menu.  I ask about his work and the daily commute, how he likes being a homeowner and other small talk. He talks at length about each of the questions I ask. He is soooooooooooo soft-spoken. I wonder if this lovely man has ever raised his voice a day in his life.

He seems very reserved. Very very reserved. There has been no profanity, no reference to any wild weekends and a lot of talk of work and his home. This is sweet, but I start to worry.
I drop the f bomb more often than most people blink. I'm afraid I may frighten him if I do this. I've noticed that I have lowered my tone and I am now sort of whispering too when I talk to him. Weird. The waitress comes over and we each order burgers and Dt. Cokes. 

He asks about my job, what I do in my spare time, and of my recent travels to Ireland and Vegas. He listens to me intently as I share about my exploits. I thought I would like this quality in a date but I notice when I talk he stares at me in a way it just makes me feel uncomfortable. I can't put my finger on it. Maybe it's that icky feeling you have when someone you don't care to have staring at you is watching you.  

Maybe I was boring the crap out of him and he had zoned out. Who knows? I just had this "Wow. This is sort of creepy" feeling every time it seemed he was "focusing" on what I was saying. I felt he was nearly piercing me with his stare! 

As the conversation went on I realized a few things. We share that we are Italian, have both visited Vegas and like red wine. But, that's kind of it. The further we talked I just felt like we were so different in what our interests were, how could this go anywhere. He liked to stay home and focus on work. I like to focus on working on traveling. He was a sweet man but we were like apples and orangataungs.  I'm looking for peas and carrots. 

Well que sera. We had a lovely burger, a nice chat and maybe we can stay in the friend zone. I look at my phone and realize that for us to be at our intended locations we will need to get the check and leave.  I ask the waitress for the check and pull out money to pay for my food and drinks. He offers to pick up the check and I thank him. It was very gracious and I thought it was a very pleasant lunch getting to know him. I thought that perhaps at this point he felt the same. We will never know.

In the last few moments before the waitress brought the check I looked out the window and looked up at the snow. I thought to myself, "it's all just so beautiful."I turned to him and very nonchalantly mentioned how "crazy is this global warming thing." I think he stopped dead with what he was doing and said something to the extent of "you don't believe that crap do you?" 

I was startled. He sounded sour and biting. His inflection had changed. It nearly sounded like he had another tone of voice when he said it.  I thought for a moment, perhaps, someone had walked by the table and just blurted out the prior statement.  This couldn't be the same quiet, mild mannered man I had sat across from all this time? 

I was wrong. It WAS him.  He was shaking his head and had a look of disgust on his face. 

"Oh, dear, no!" I thought to myself.  

Whether you believe in global warming or or not I don't care. I can agree to disagree. It's one of my strong suits. I happen to believe in global warming, the Mayan end of the calendar next week and marriage should be renewed every 7 years like a lease -  if there is no apocalypse on the 21st. I digress.  

I wasn't unhappy the he didn't believe in global warming.  I was unhappy with the way that he belittled an opposing point of view and was so dismissive. Generally, I would have spoken up for the what I believed in and called him out on dismissing someone's dissenting view. Strangely, I refrained.  I think it's because I am learning from this dating experiment when to say when. I just sat there and smiled and nodded politely.  

To fill the dead air that was slowly but surely filling our booth I mentioned something about "well at least we are going in the right direction with solar power." 

He scoffs at my comment. 

He tells me that it would take so much to convert all of our devices and machinery that we would require converted to get solar to work, it would be impossible. He believes in the "digging" for natural gas as he calls it.  I've heard of this fracking, as it is called, and I am not a fan of this. Again. It's like someone is testing me to see if I will go all hippie on him. I sit quietly, smile and nod.  As we get up to put our coats on, he continues on with the conversation. He tells me that if Obama hadn't spent all the money on "stupid social programs" there would be more money for pursuing natural gas in Alaska and other places. 

The little voice inside of me is now SCREAMING. He has just hit me with the trifecta.  Insult my political views, bash nature and belittle opposing views. I still don't say a word.  At this very moment I realize the thing that is magic about this whole episode is one thing: I have figured out the hustle.

I don't have to call him, text him or see him ever again if I don't want to. Awesome. 

That soothes the inner voice that is now hoarse from the epic scream. No need to engage him. Just say goodbye.  We depart the restaurant talking about our upcoming week. I have remained cool as a cucumber throughout the talk and walk. He has no idea that he has taken my inner values tree and shaken it to the very core. I am Chris' Zen Penguin Power-animal. I can weather any date now. Slide.

I wish him well with his afternoon birthday party. I depart across the street waving goodbye as my inner Zen Penguin flips him the bird.