“So what Knight am I?”
“Excuse me?” I replied confused. I was totally lost. . .
”What Knight am I?” the man’s voice on the phone
repeated.
My brain was processing what he was saying, but it was like
I was translating the words in my head to fit contextually to what this
wonderful, beautiful man was speaking of.
“I thought that we had a great time and I thought you liked
me, and then I read your blog and wondered if you just went on a date to have
material for your blog,” was the summary that followed.
Ouch. Shit.
I felt like I had been kicked in the gut. This was my worst
nightmare coming true. I finally meet someone, have an amazing time with them,
really like them and my luck; they think I am just out with them to have
material to write.
I had mentioned that I had written a blog in passing at one
point during a phone conversation when we were first talking. We were speaking
for hours on the phone and I was trying to get to know him, and he me. Like a smart guy sometimes does, he Google’d me
and found everything from roller derby to the blog.
I had wrapped up the blog dates nearly a year earlier, and
hadn’t seen hide nor hare of a Knight in ages. Life had gotten busy; new job,
traveling, band obligations, friends and family and I had just dropped the ball
with finishing the blog. I had spaced
and then three months turned into six months, and then I just wondered if I was
ever going to have time or have the spirit move me to finish the blog. I had only written when I felt really
compelled to write, and well, I wasn’t feeling creative these days to sum up
the last two failed dates. He and I were
having such a great time, I wasn’t event thinking about my past dates.
The thing that was so funny to talk about, everyone seemed
so happy to read, and offered me an outlet for the very odd and mysterious time
of my life when I was “dating” was now rearing it’s head, and it wasn’t
pretty.
“Well Chris, you finally met a nice guy, of course, a nice
guy isn’t going to want to think he’s part of an online blog,” was the counsel
I was offered by the best friend. I was
horrified. I really liked this guy. .
and I by no means wanted him to think that I was writing about him!
I wrestled with what to do. Do I just take the blog down? I
was two entries away (both were dates I had gone on ages ago) from completion. If I took
it down before it was complete, I felt like I hadn’t completed by goal. I HAD
gone on thirty dates. Why not just
create the write-ups and then put the sucker to bed.
After A LOT of dialogue with this new man about how the blog
had not been written for a year. . .after apologizing profusely for having this
wonderful man feel led astray, I knew I had to finish the blog. I had not been
on a blog date for nearly a year. In
fact, after completing thirty first dates I took a break from dating. For nearly a year. . . .I will explain
further in my wrap up, but I was a bit threadbare from dating and the doozy
that the Knight’s legacy left me with.
I also explained to him that I too, really liked him, and
wasn’t going to write a blog entry about our date/s.
This kind-hearted man accepted my explanation with no
challenge. He was willing to believe he
wasn’t just “statistic” and was going to
give me another shot and I haven’t breathed a sigh of relief like that in a
while. Finally, I had met someone that was willing to trust and believe
me. He became even more attractive to me
than he already was.
So I pulled my act together and over two trips, I decided
it’s time to put this sucker to bed. I wasn’t losing a perfectly great
relationship over my brain dead musings.
